Ah, modern love. A few swipes, a couple of “Heyy’s” (with one too many y’s), and before you know it, you’re staring at your screen like it owes you answers. Whether you’re a queen of texts or a guy thinking, “Why isn’t ‘Yo’ enough?”, we’ve all felt the awkward dance of texting.
But guess what? It really doesn’t have to be that complicated.
So, whether you’re new to the dating game or you’ve been ping-ponging messages for weeks — this one’s for you. We’re laying out the texting rules so you know what to do, and more importantly, what not to do. Yes, even you, bro.
1. 📱 Frequency: Consistency is King (or Queen)
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
If he texted three times a day yesterday and now it’s been 48 hours of silence: you’re not crazy. But also, it’s not always about you. Look at the pattern. If he only texts when he’s bored or after 11pm (“u up?” energy)… girl, you deserve more.
DON’T: Don’t turn into Sherlock Holmes over his “last seen” status. Your battery and your sanity are too precious.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
A simple “Hey, how was your day?” is low-effort, high-impact. She’s not asking for Shakespeare every hour — just a bit of consistency.
DON’T: Don’t drop a random “Yo” after three days of silence and expect her to jump for joy. You’re not a microwave, bro. You can’t just heat her up whenever it suits you.
2. ⏱️ Speed: don’t leave them gasping for air
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
If you’re waiting for his reply like it’s the lottery result — take a step back.
DON’T: Don’t send “Hey?” “You there?” “Hello??” unless you’re auditioning to be Siri.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
Busy? No problem. Just say: “Can’t reply now, I’ll read this later.” Easy.
DON’T: Don’t assume she’ll just “get” that you’re not a texter. You check football scores, right? You can check her too.
3. 💬 Content: more than just emojis
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
A guy who’s genuinely into you asks questions, remembers what you say, and doesn’t just send 😂 or 🔥.
DON’T: Don’t force a conversation that’s already flatlined. If it’s all “Haha”s and thumbs up, you’ll both end up laughing… alone.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
Say something deeper than “What are you doing?”. She’ll love it if you actually show interest.
DON’T: Don’t play the “I’m not good at talking about feelings” card as an excuse for saying nothing. No need to write a sonnet — a simple “I had a great time with you” works, bro.
4. ⚖️ Too much or too little: find the sweet spot
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
Keep it light if the vibe is light. Match his energy.
DON’T: Don’t drop a full diary entry if you’ve only had two dates. Save it for your bestie (or your coach 😉).
👨 For the Guys – DO:
Don’t disappear the moment it starts to feel real.
DON’T: Also don’t send 14 messages in one hour when she hasn’t replied to the first. Chill, tiger.
5. ⚡ Mixed signals: Speak your truth
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
Feel like his vibe changed? Say it: “Hey, I feel a shift — is that just me?” Simple, clear.
DON’T: Don’t try harder just because he’s pulling back. Love is not an audition.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
If you’re not feeling it anymore, be honest (and kind). A “Hey, I think you’re great but something feels off” beats ghosting.
DON’T: Don’t leave her in the grey zone because you’re too scared to speak up. Men can be grownups too — we believe in you.
6. 🌍 Real Life: Step outside the app bubble
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
If he says “We should hang out sometime” but never picks a date — believe actions, not emojis.
DON’T: Don’t be his chat buddy forever. You’re not his WhatsApp pen pal — you’re date material.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
Make a plan. Try: “Friday, pizza and you?” — smooth and solid.
DON’T: Don’t think endless texting is enough. The real connection happens offline.
7. 👻 Ghosted? Let It Go
👩 For the Ladies – DO:
Being ghosted isn’t rejection — it’s protection from someone who couldn’t communicate like a grown human.
DON’T: Don’t send a “Was it something I said?” message. Nah girl, it’s what he didn’t say: goodbye.
👨 For the Guys – DO:
If you ghosted someone, own it. Send a genuine “Sorry, I wasn’t clear about where I was at.” Or… move on and do better next time.
DON’T: Don’t slide back in with “Hey stranger” like you didn’t ghost her for weeks. We remember everything, my guy.
✨ Final thoughts: Text with intention
Whether you’re a man or a woman, texting isn’t about perfect replies or 24/7 availability — it’s about intention, presence, and real connection. Yes, even beyond the screen.
So: text with heart. Call when it matters. Plan the damn date. And don’t be afraid to say how you really feel — even if it’s “I’m not sure yet” or “I don’t see this going anywhere.” Remember: “No” is also a full sentence.
And hey — whether you’re at the start of something or deep in the texting trenches — you deserve someone who puts in the real effort. Not just someone who pops up in your notifications. 💛
Tiny disclaimer (with a wink 😄):
Yep, this is a generalization. There are men who text with care and love (shoutout to you!), and women who ghost like they’re auditioning for Halloween. Don’t recognise yourself in this? Even better — you’re already ahead of the game. 😉
Want more loving truth bombs like this?
Check out my other blogs @Tea wonders
